8 Ways to bring life into the atmosphere vs death
When we grumble and complain, we poison the atmosphere
Poison causes death. When we speak poison - which I believe includes grumbling, complaining, arguing with our spouse and more - we cause death. Death to what could have been an opportunity to shine like a star in the Universe and share life. Allow me to explain.
Philippians 2:14-15 says: “Do everything without grumbling* or arguing,** so that you may become blameless and pure, ‘children of God without fault in a warped and crooked generation. Then you will shine among them like stars in the sky…”
It is one of my favourite verses - I love the picture of Christians shining like stars in a dark world!
However when my husband asked if I wanted to preach with him on thankfulness, based on the specific scripture “Do everything without grumbling” , “or arguing”, so that we “shine among them like stars in the sky” I found myself challenged. I want to have some level of victory in an area if I preach on it. But to say I never grumble or argue, well…
I meditated on this and believe God has given me victory in some areas related to this, though of course I still have a bit of journeying to do (as well all do!). I know when we don’t argue or grumble, there is a dying to flesh - but, that makes us stand out, because the world hates dying to its flesh. Its MO is rather the opposite. So when we do (die to the flesh) it stands out to the world - we shine like stars.
Which are pretty bright against the darkness of space - which is something astronauts talk about. NASA’s website shares the following:
“Consider the experience of Apollo 14 astronauts Al Shepard and Ed Mitchell:
They had just landed at Fra Mauro and were busily unloading the lunar module. Out came the ALSEP, a group of experiments bolted to a pallet. Items on the pallet were held down by ‘Boyd bolts,’ each bolt recessed in a sleeve used to guide the Universal Handling Tool, a sort of astronaut's wrench. Shepard would insert the tool and give it a twist to release the bolt--simple, except that the sleeves quickly filled with moondust. The tool wouldn't go all the way in.
The sleeve made its own little shadow, so ‘Al was looking at it, trying to see inside. And he couldn't get the tool in and couldn't get it released--and he couldn't see it,’ recalls Mitchell.
‘Remember,’ adds Mitchell, "on the lunar surface there's no air to refract light--so unless you've got direct sunlight, there's no way in [heck] you can see anything. It was just pitch black. That's an amazing phenomenon on an airless planet."
To overcome darkness one needs a source of light- the sun if one is in space... The ‘Son’ in the world (cheesy I know but easy to remember!). That is, we need Jesus in us to shine and to share Him effectively.
Are we part of the ‘darkness’ if we are not shining?
As I pondered this verse so many other things came to mind, including many other scriptures:
Proverbs 18:21
We have the power of life and death in the tongue. I have a feeling, if our words are not life giving... the alternative is death-causing.
James 3:1-13
James 3 says the tongue is “...a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole body, sets the whole course of one’s life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell… It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison”. That’s...intense.
It also says no one can tame it, but that if anyone can keep it in check they are perfect - able to keep the whole body in check…
“Not many of you should become teachers, my fellow believers, because you know that we who teach will be judged more strictly. We all stumble in many ways. Anyone who is never at fault in what they say is perfect, able to keep their whole body in check.
...the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole body, sets the whole course of one’s life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell….but no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison.” -James 3
My husband and I struggle at times in this area (in our first year of marriage, one may say we struggled a lot…). We still struggle, though I hope not as much (more on that below). As I pondered this, I thought - I am fairly certain - ‘grumbling’ and ‘arguing’ are included in the whole ‘taming’ exhortation. We need to tame our tongues to NOT complain or grumble. If we don’t...not only do we not shine but, we poison our atmosphere. Ouch. (Side note: Though I definitely think you can grow to such a degree that you go days, weeks, months without doing so! Think of someone you know who you thinking ‘I never hear them complain’ - I definitely know a few. Something to aim for:))
Alternatively, if we do, we will be perfect...Since no one is perfect, as noted, I think this will remain a journey for all of us until we die.
1 Thes. 5:18 -Setting the scene for shining & thankfulness
Writing to the Thessalonians, Paul exhorts them to be thankful in all circumstances. That does not mean be thankful for all circumstances. Furthermore, when we read scripture it is often very helpful to know contex. (Side note: We interpret scripture / learn from the word via Holy Spirit, other teachers and yes - other scripture. Scripture interprets scripture and the Spirit is the best teacher, but studying the word as a scholar would is also good! The Lord also gave us a brain, we should use it.) Was Paul telling them to be thankful because his life was so great and it was so easy to be thankful?
If you know anything about Paul you know that is pretty much as far from reality as one can be. . Indeed, pretty atrocious things happened to Paul: was shipwrecked, beaten, he experienced hunger (I doubt this is the sort of ‘of I haven’t had breakfast’ hunger), spent several stints imprisoned. Yet remained thankful for the cross through it all.
Also notably, switching back to Philippians, when Paul wrote to them he was in prison, yet the letter to them, as the notes in my bible summarise, is basically a thank you letter - expressing Paul’s joy in what God was doing through them.
However, he still needs to exhort them to not grumble or dispute, suggesting even the most amazing churches have room to grow so they shine brighter…
Churches are made of people. Hence, I would suggest all people have room to grow in this area;)
How do we practically do this in the midst of hard times? See below for more ideas. Also, short story: A dear friend of mine recently shared her neighbours were being very loud while her baby was trying to sleep and her response was “thank you Jesus for neighbours who up our prayer lives”. Let’s be more like her.
Genesis 25:29-34
The story of Esau despising his inheritance and selling it to Jacob for soup came to mind - imagine if he would’ve kept his mouth shut in that moment! But… out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks. And sadly for many, their stomachs rule them (1 Corinthians 6:13, “Food for the stomach and the stomach for food, and God will destroy them both.”).
While there is nothing wrong with eating (but maybe don’t sell your inheritance for soup...), we need to take extra special care when we are hungry (indeed, fasting often reveals what is in our hearts for that reason), tired, scared, or angry regarding what comes out of our mouths.
Ephesians 5:4, “Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving” also comes to mind. I could go on.
Should I be thankful for affliction and hardship?
As noted above, modelling Paul, we should not be thankful “for” trials, we should be thankful in the midst of them (though of note, James says to consider them joy, “for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing” - but joy and thankfulness are different. A blog post for another time maybe). This is incredibly challenging, and, unless you have been ‘in it’; ‘it’ being a trial, such as cancer, losing a loved one, etc., it is hard to say to someone to remain thankful in it (I am not saying you should do that in the midst of one’s trial, Holy Spirit knows what words of comfort if any are needed in hard times!).
I share this as, in addition to scriptures, other writings came to mind as well - specifically Paul Manwaring’s book on the Goodness of God (Kisses from a Good God), in which he shares about his battle with cancer, overcoming, and God’s goodness (or, ‘kisses’). He has a whole chapter on how we are meant to shine (referencing John 9:5, Matthew 5:14, Psalm 119:105 - see p. 116). Given the call to “shine like stars in the universe,” in Philippians, I immediately thought of his book.
He also talks about how “cancer brings its own darkness”. Likely - destructive thought patterns, attitudes, giving in to negative/ungodly emotions are also forms of darkness. As Paul Manwaring wrote, “If principalities are spiritual places ruled by darkness, then light must be the answer to overcoming principalities…”
So good. To overcome principalities, we need to bring this light - to shine.
So if we grumble are we part of the darkness?
I believe we will blend in with darkness when we grumble and complain. Indeed, we blend in with the dark when we fail to keep our tongue in cheek. We need to strive to be like Jesus, who made us light on the cross ( “...he humbled himself by becoming obedient to death— even death on a cross.” Philippians 2:8), who he never grumbled, murmured, complained (and he definitely had reason to - anything we go through on earth, the worst tragedy, pain, suffering - Christ experienced worse, for us).
We need to put our faith into action, do what Paul says and not grumble. We are called to be like him.
Thankfulness vs. grumbling & disputing
I believe the word should be unto something (faith without works is dead- that one is also in James. Good ‘ole James telling it like it is). Hearing or reading about thankfulness and not complaining is all well and good but HOW do we do that - how do we process negative emotions without grumbling? How do we cease ‘reasoning’ in unhealthy ways? How do we ensure we are not ‘murmuring’ about others, our circumstances, or just life in general?
You may already be very good at this, and may not need to improve at all in this area - though I would suggest we all do as that whole ‘perfection’ thing will not happen until we arrive in glory.
And it’s easy to say ‘do not do this’ but, we need to do something with what we feel.
Furthermore, instead of grumbling there are a few things we can and should do. Not saying anything is always an option (if you can’t say anything nice…).
However we can also shift our attitude in various ways. Like giving thanks. Ephesians 5:19-20 exhorts us to speak to one one another “with psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit. Sing and make music from your heart to the Lord, always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.” This is just one example. The bible is simply choc-a-bloc full of gratitude, praise, thanksgiving. Most of Paul's letters begin with thankfulness for the churches he writes to, for instance.
I even did a word search on this in Strong’s concordance online and truly struggled to figure out how many times thankfulness occurs. Just the various forms of thankful, thanksgiving, to be thankful come up with 85 hits, but interestingly, the words ‘to throw, cast’ can also be translated as thankful/variants of thankful - and that specific translation of them occurs 74 times (the word itself occurs 114 times and can also be translated as confess, gave, etc.). Then when I thought - I should search ‘gratitude’; more came up. I believe praise is also a form of thanksgiving. We are to enter his gates with thanksgiving and his courts with praise. Needless to say the bible is pretty clear. Give thanks. (See: Strong's Hebrew; todah- thanksgiving; Strong's Greek; eucharistos- thankful; Strong's Greek: eucharistia- thankfulness, giving of thanks; Strong's Greek; eucharisteó- to be thankful; Strong's Hebrew; yadah -to throw, cast; Strong's Greek; charis -grace, kindness)
So, how do we actively express more gratitude/work on ‘perfection’?
I encourage you to ask the Holy Spirit if/what He may be saying to you in this area. Do you need to: be more thankful, grumble less, cease gossiping or bickering with your spouse, or others? What about slight irritation or tone in your voice? That frustration you expressed at the operator on the phone? Sarcasm? Swearing?
I would also encourage you to ask Holy Spirit how to implement what He says. Indeed, keeping our mouths shut sounds easy enough but I cannot tell you how many times I have thought in my head “do NOT say x” to my husband, and then, I say it. I repent immediately but I am definitely choosing sin at that moment. I could have stopped. (I truly believe in my heart my will power could have stopped me. Other times it is harder to stop and all the will power in the world would not help me. I need Holy Spirit. We cannot become perfect without him.)
This has been such an issue in my life the Lord gave me a prophetic word about reigning in my tongue...I’m not joking. What do you do with that? I will share what I personally did/try to still do but note: these are ideas and I am still on a journey as well! Note, we cannot do ‘everything’ - every good idea a blog, preacher, etc. gives us, everyday. Hence again I would encourage you to ask Holy Spirit:)
Talk to a trusted mentor who can guide you in this area
It is important to give voice to negative and hard situations - in a safe way, with safe people, not grumbling but sharing. Hence, I regularly chat about hard things in life / share my struggles in this area above with a lovely prayer warrior. (We also need to be careful as we can often use prayer or a conversation with someone to vent/gossip/reason versus process. Thankfully, God knows our hearts and it is often a matter of your heart attitude).
Write out scriptures and place them somewhere you will see them often / Speak the scriptures out loud
This mentor suggested that I write out scriptures for areas I struggle in and place them in my bathroom to read and say aloud. So I have James 3:1-3 hanging in my bathroom right now. When I was REALLY struggling with this, I wrote this out and said aloud daily a few other verses along with this one - such as in Proverbs 18:21 “Death and life are in the power of the tongue…”; in Matthew 12:36-37, “But I tell you that men will give an account on the day of judgment for every careless word they have spoken. For by your words you will be acquitted, and by your words you will be condemned.””; in Psalms 141:3 “Set a guard, O LORD, over my mouth; keep watch over the door of my lips!”
Regarding speaking them - “...faith comes by hearing and hearing by the word of God” - we need to speak things out so they resonate in our hearts, so we start to believe them. There is a reason people put motivational tapes on as they fall asleep. What we listen to can and does become part of us. As our church’s sermon notes on the ‘thankfulness’ series said, “Say so! ‘Let the redeemed of the Lord SAY SO.’ [see Psalm 107:1-2]. Your soul needs to hear it! We need to GIVE thanks and not just acknowledge a blessing or think about it in our minds.” (Thanks Cate Seithel! See also Romans 10:17). I truly believe it helps - I have noticed a change! (Hopefully husband has too…)
Take time to be thankful each day
Tell a different friend a few things you are thankful for about them each day/time you meet with them. Every night tell your spouse what you were thankful for that day [as Stu and Chloe Glasborrow do]. Write a line of thanksgiving in your journal every day. Indeed it says enter His gates with Thanksgiving and His Courts with praise, so even if it is just a few words, I always write ‘Thank you Jesus for today,’ before I begin journaling my prayers (yes this can become rote, but interestingly my husband asking me to preach with him on this topic stirred me afresh...God knows when we need to be stirred and gives us relationships for a reason!)
Write a Facebook or other social media post about things you’re thankful for
My husband challenged me to think of things I’m thankful for each day. As I started to I can’t believe how I can just go on… For example a few years back good friends of ours gave us a coffee pot that just needed one replacement part. Very expensive coffee machine and I love coffee. I’m thankful for coffee and this machine that I would never have bought myself but, absolutely love it! It’s also quite long lasting!
Write thank you cards / say thank you to someone with a gift
This is not something I ever did before running for office - or at least, very rarely [read my bio for more on that]. But when people donate to your campaign it is expected-and just a common courtesy (plus they are more likely to keep donating. But of course that is not why I did it…). When I moved to England, the culture of writing/giving cards, I found, was even stronger. So I wrote thank you cards for wedding gifts, thank you cards for baby shower gifts (confession still writing some of those!) and even sometimes, a gift and thank you card for friends just being epic. You never know who needs it-hence listen to Holy Spirit!
Sing psalms and edify one another
See Paul’s note on this in Ephesians 5. As referenced above.
Share out your testimony more often
This should make you thankful!
Put praise music on in the background more often
I think praise begets thanksgiving and visa-versa - no theology on that, just feel it true from experience. (Plus you can’t really go wrong with saying worship more. It’s like saying pray more or read your bible).
Have a child!
Bit extreme but, TBH, having a child made me just love all kids and people more and, I think, be more thankful! (Note: Don’t let this be the only reason you have a child;)).
So...perfect yet?
We will not be perfect, until we die. This doesn’t mean give up.
Smith Wigglesworth said it well, “Always be thankful you are alive to change a situation - not dejected you didn’t take a right step sooner!
*The Greek word is used 4 times in NT, “goggusmos: a muttering, murmuring...Usage: murmuring, grumbling”.
**The Greek word is “dialogismos: a reasoning...usage: a calculation, reasoning, thought, movement of thought, deliberation, plotting”. Further interesting notes on this: The word is from dialogízomai, "back-and-forth reasoning", “reasoning that is self-based and therefore confused – especially as it contributes to reinforcing others in discussion to remain in their initial prejudice.”